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Re: Wind Chimes
Wow, I really liked this! There are a few things I can catch that need a bit of improvement, however. In the balmy air Good, unusual adjective, but the rest ...
Jan 3, 2008 -
Re: Depredation of Nightmares Chapter 1
All was silent. Not the nice silence that makes you feel calm and comforted, but the dark eerie silence that makes you twitch nervously. The kind of silence that scares ...
Nov 14, 2007 -
Re: Moon
This is a very interesting poem. It seems to hold a lot of...potential. However, I must nag you about a few things. Correct sentences. Yes, poems need these too. A ...
Nov 12, 2007 -
Re: "Lost"
Hm...critique now, compliments later. After a few periods, you do not capitalize. This is a pet peeve of mine. L ost. S earching S craping away F eeling smaller W ...
Nov 8, 2007 -
Re: God Glances Down Sometimes
I absolutely love this! ((I was so excited I typoed every single word in that sentence...)) There is only ONE ((one!)) thing that bothers me. When Winter permits the, the ...
Nov 4, 2007 -
Re: Drive
Wow, excellent! I found nothing wrong with this poem! (And if there is something, I probably missed it because I'm staying awake off of a gallon of coffee xD; ) ...
Nov 3, 2007 -
Re: Phoenix, ch. 1
I'm terribly sorry but I have to go somewhere. I'm definitely going to critique this story when I get back, so please be patient! I only read the very first ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: The Soul Factory
I've never read a story like this, but I'll try to help. First off, try capitalizing the letter at the beginning of every line...though I'm not sure if that is ...
Oct 28, 2007 -
Re: The Ghost
This was a semi-good poem. Some things could be worked on, however. 1- Vocabulary. There are some pretty simple words here, none that interest me or pull me into the ...
Oct 24, 2007 -
Re: Beneath a magenta sky...
I do enjoy this poem so very much! I've reread it several times, and I don't see anything wrong with it! I know I'm supposed to be helping, but there ...
Oct 24, 2007 -
Re: Mother's China
I really enjoyed this poem! The one thing that bugged me, however, was the last line of the poem. What ignorance led me to ignore her? 1. Who are you ...
Oct 24, 2007 -
Re: Memories of you.
Hmmm...I have quite a lot to say about this poem. To start off! You repeatedly make 'I' a lowercase. This is no, no, and no . First off, if you ...
Oct 24, 2007 -
Re: cookies
First and foremost, this is just a giant wall of text. If anything repels a reader off, it's that . Try putting spaces between your paragraphs. Ex. Instead of The ...
Oct 23, 2007 -
Re: From Dawn to Dusk
It was a very nice poem, but you seemed to be putting a bunch of fancy words in to cover up the confusion. I really didn't get it at all. ...
Oct 23, 2007 -
Re: The Breaking Point
Oh, just...wow! I really liked it! However... It gave me a sense of something. An outline. But it did not fill the outline in. I liked it, it gave me ...
Oct 23, 2007
